Please love me, please? Or Just text, that’ll do too.

The Life and Lack Of Love

TextingThey say when you don’t know what to write about, write about what you know – whether that be in the form of a book, a poem, or a song.  I’m therefore hoping the same logic will apply here.

Now, I have not got much of a clue how to do this whole blogging thing, what it is for, or how to use the gadgets surrounding it, but then I suppose I’m not doing this to entertain or to inform you (my millions of readers – stop laughing! It’s possible!), I’m doing it as a fun-er-er way of writing a journal or diary, and perhaps to give a little advice based on my own life. So, let’s try!

If you’re like me, there will have been times in your young, online, social networking life where you have actually torn yourself away from your phone screen and headed out into the real world.  And there, in the midst of a club or pub within this newly ventured in new world, met, who you thought, was a nice lad.  A nice, sex-god, marriage-material, perfect-future-boyfriend-type lad.  You exchange numbers, or at least he takes yours, and all feels well in the world (real and other).  You may spend the entire evening together, and you may decide then and there that this guy is definitely going to be the one to change your facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’.  Happy days? Far from it.

The next day, you may recieve a text and the simple “hey :)” will get you smiling like a smiley-thing at christmas.  This is where the problems start.  Texting.  Who invented it? I don’t know, but sometimes I sure wish they could un-invent it and bury back deep down inside their clever techno brain.  Don’t get me wrong, I love texting in general.  It’s a great way of keeping in touch and sharing your utmost hillarious bants – but only when you’re not hanging on the other end waiting for that reply.

You respond casually with something like “Hi this is ___________, right?” to which they confirm this, and you have a light texting conversation… “wuu2?” “good night last night” “i’m so tired, how are you?” etc.  It’s a bore but you’re happy he’s texted you.

A short while after this, you find yourself googling the likes of “how to text a guy you like”, or “how to make a guy like you over text” and try and put some of these tactics in play.  In my experience, these simply do not work – mainly – I presume, because they are bullet points of advice written by women.  And as much as women are brilliant advice givers, they can’t tell you what goes on inside a man’s head.

So this guy texts a couple time throughout the next few days.. you try to take google’s advice and

1. Not bombard him with texts – check

2.  Keep it light hearted and fun – check

3. Tell him you’re busy and be mysterious so he thinks you actually have a life – check

And the list goes on.

It’s all very well and good, but does it really have a bearing? No, not really.  True, If I was a lad I wouldn’t want to be bombarded with commitment-craving texts – however, another chick telling me this isn’t who I need to be hearing from.  I have also read blogs written by men for men about how to keep a woman interested, and quite frankly, it is totally the opposite to what will keep me wanting more – 2 texts a day will lead me to boredom and cutting my losses – not desiring the mysterious lover on the other end of the phone!  Which brings me round to the actual point of this blog.  Some good advice to lads who want to get a chicks attention and have a hope of getting to know her.  I’m hoping that by sharing my feelings on this subject, may then in turn, lead some sort of karma-god to send a man’s blog on the subject in reverse my way! Or just that man.  Not even his blog. Anyways, here we go!

Ahem*

My Top Tips On Keeping a Girl Interested Through Text

  1. Definitely text her first: and the next day!  No matter how confident and sexy she wants you to believe she is, she will never have bad feelings about recieving the first text from you.  Personally, I love it whatever the text is, but a simple “hey :)” will suffice.
  2. Before the conversation travels beyond when you met, tell her how nice she looked: If other girls are anything like me, they love to be told how nice they looked.  Mainly because, a lot of the reason they spent 3hours getting ready last night was for the benefit of guys like you – any chick saying that it’s not, is lying.  Ultimately, whether in a relationship or not, girls like to be noticed by men.  It’s natural.
  3. Don’t play time games: The longer it takes you to text me back, the more likely it is i’m going to lose interest.  Now i’m not talking about responding 10 seconds later or every minute you and her are awake, but if every reply I get is 7hours after the text I sent you, I’m starting to assume you’re not that into me.  And most girls will.  If it gets to 2 days, we’re pulling our hair out over why we’ve shown interest in another dud!
  4. Give us a cute, but non-cringey nickname: I’m not one for being called cutie, but it doesn’t hurt for us to feel like a personilised text buddy.  One guy I was texting used to call me “me julie” (look up Ali-G) and I loved it! It was funny, and not something that made me want to vomit.
  5. Don’t leave it too long to ask about meeting up: Other people will tell you to wait at least a week, but when a girl likes you, this will seem like a lifetime.  You can make the meeting for in a week, just don’t leave asking for a week.
  6. DO NOT ASK FOR PHOTOS: be they nudes or otherwise.  You’ll be getting no-where.
  7. Give her a goodmorning text: after you’ve texted for a few days.  I love thinking a a guy has thought about me before anyone else.
  8. Be funny: Everyone loves a laugh and a good sense of humour conveys intelligence and confidence *swoon*
  9. Tell her you’re looking forward to seeing her: the evening before the planned date – you don’t know how good this makes us feel!

and at last, BE RELIABLE!: I cannot stress this enough.  If you genuinely like this girl, be reliable.  If you can’t make the date, call her, don’t text her to tell her why, and make sure you suggest another time.  If you don’t, it will totally feel like she’s been stood up, even if there was a legit reason behind it!

 

I’m hoping this post wasn’t too bad for your reading pleasure, and I would like any feedback you have on the matter.  If you are a guy and would like to share what makes you tick over texts, please share with us! I’m sure we’d all like to know!

Until then, I think I may stick to saying my text function on my phone has exploded and therefore I can only recieve phone calls!

Much Love ❤
A Rabbit’s Pocket Watch xx

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Don’t rub salt into the wound.. It doesn’t work

The Dangers of my Self-Diagnosis

So I bit my lip last thursday and thought nothing of it.

Got to sunday, after the bitten part of my inner/outer bottom lip had turned into an ulcerated looking growth, and thought, hey! It’ll be gone by tomorrow.

6 days later, after the original lip biting incident, and I’m pretty sure I may continue to look like the elephant man evermore.

Use hydrogen peroxide, they said.

Use savlon, they said.

Use salt, they said.

Nothing has worked and i’m now beginning to google ’emergency lip amputations’ that can sort my hideous problem before my saturday night out comes around.  Because, god knows, no amount of rouge lippy is going to be able to cover this baby up!

Let us pray. (either for a cure to bitten lip growths, or for a man with a thing for diseased lips)red lips isolated in white

A Rabbit’s Pocket Watch